In theory, giving and receiving feedback is a simple skill that is an essential tool for professionals across all sectors. However, in practice, this is not always the case. Many often find themselves asking these questions: How does one deliver effective feedback to those around you? Moreover, how can you implement the feedback given to you in a meaningful way? This article will share my top three tips for giving and receiving feedback more efficiently.
Receiving feedback effectively
Chances are you’ve likely received feedback at work or school. Throughout my degree, I have found these three tips to be critical for receiving feedback effectively.
- Active listening. A strong listener can open themselves up to vulnerability. We must listen without judging, interrupting, and jumping to conclusions. Receiving feedback isn’t easy as it means there are things we could be doing better. However, feedback is valuable for everyone across all experience levels. We can all grow, and feedback helps us along the way.
- Don’t be defensive. Psychologically, when we hear feedback it’s our natural response to take it negatively and become defensive. According to Gregory and O’Malley’s 2011 article “Don’t Be Such a Downer: Using Positive Psychology to Enhance the Value of Negative Feedback,” negative feedback is registered by our brains as a threat to the self, and evolutionary perspectives suggest that we use our negative emotions to prepare us to combat these threats. It takes time, practice, and confidence to stop this defensive state from occurring.
- Be kind to yourself. It’s easy to become discouraged by feedback, especially if you’re beginning a degree or starting a job. Being kind to yourself is a necessary part of the growth process. The time you spend being discouraged or doubting yourself is time you can’t get back. I implore you instead to use that energy to be kind to yourself and others. Learning is an infinite continuum that we all should embrace.
Giving constructive feedback
- Keep it positive. When giving feedback, try focusing on the positive aspects rather than pushing the negative perspective forward. We give feedback because we want to help the individual grow, so our words and goals must align with that positive message. By focusing on the positives, we reinforce this mindset.
- Give implementable feedback. It’s easy for our perspectives to influence our behaviour, and thus our feedback, rather than sticking to the facts. We need to focus on feedback that can be implemented. Saying a phrase like “he never is accountable for his work,” is not constructive criticism. Instead try something like, “Hay Lin, I appreciate how attentive you are to details; it’s a skill I admire of yours. I did want to mention lately, you are missing assignment deadlines, how can I better support you to meet our goals?” In this example, we are addressing the problem, but in a supportive way, which allows for the individual receiving the feedback to not become in an emotionally defensive state. This way, individuals are more likely to accept and implement helpful suggestions.
- Focus on patterns. If a co-worker is usually punctual, then begins to exhibit lateness, that’s a good indicator that something is wrong. By focusing on the bigger picture and looking at an individual’s patterns, we can focus on the real issue. Perhaps your co-worker’s car broke down, and they have to take the bus, which doesn’t run until 9 a.m. Or maybe it’s a completely different reason. Nonetheless, communicate openly and honestly with them to figure out what’s occurring. Pointing out the one time a co-worker failed to complete a task will diminish their trust in you and increase workplace dissatisfaction. Giving feedback isn’t about belittling someone, it’s about trying to help them grow by providing constructive criticism.
One exercise I encourage you to try is to give someone constructive feedback. Giving and receiving feedback are very closely related, despite seeming different. It’s not easy to receive feedback, but it’s also not easy to provide good feedback. Once we recognize this, it’s much easier to improve our habits!
There are plenty of free resources on the internet that can help you improve the skill of giving and receiving feedback. I recommend “The Psychology of Giving and Receiving Feedback,” by Stories and Strategies for Public Relations and “Giving and Receiving Feedback,” by Thriving Women Artists if you’re interested in listening to podcasts. Though these podcasts discuss feedback in different scenarios, such as in a professional workplace and the world of fine arts, there are consistencies across situations.
Remember, be kind to yourself and others. Feedback is a critical aspect of learning and a life-long process.
Article By: Co-Editor-in-Chief, Emma McCluskey
Editor: Nathan Buchanan
