Navigating imposter syndrome in work-terms and post-grad life
Alumni Submission
I am an adult. I have been an adult for a while now. I know I am an adult in every sense of the word. But sometimes, I don’t feel like an adult. I thought maybe that on the day of my graduation, I would finally start to feel like a grown up. I thought the day I signed my contract for my big kid job, I would feel like an adult. I thought the day I actually started my job as a Marketing and Communications Specialist, I would feel like an adult. But most days, I still expect to wake up in my childhood bedroom, with my Polly Pockets littering the floor and my Jesse McCartney poster hanging proudly over my bed. As far as adults go, I feel like the least adulty adult to have adulted.
When I say “adults,” I don’t just mean people over the legal age either. I mean people like parents, teachers, or coaches I grew up with. People like my now colleagues that provide insightful observations from meetings with clients during our company meetings. I don’t see these people as being like me.
I assumed mornings for adulty adults consisted of black coffee, a nutrient-dense bowl of oatmeal, and the morning news playing in the background. Whereas I have been known for cracking open a Monster Energy drink before nine o’clock in the morning and pairing it with a bowl of Dino Eggs while fully immersed in another season of Love is Blind –at least I got the oatmeal part though, right?
I often still feel like I am eight years old again playing house and acting like an adult. Sometimes, it feels darker than that and I feel like I am an imposter and just faking my way through life.
Shining bright or burning out?
About a month into my career, I felt burnt out. It wasn’t because my workload was too heavy– my boss made sure to ease me into my newfound adult life and didn’t overburden me with tasks. While my workload was light, my mental load was heavy. I spent my days worrying about my qualifications and capabilities, even with my degree hanging over my desk and the validation from my peers.
This burnout spiraled to a feeling of embarrassment and shame– why can’t I do this? Why can’t I handle this like everyone else? Why am I failing?
This negative self talk was holding me back from not only reaching my goals but acknowledging the achievements I had already accomplished. While I would like to say that I had a sudden “I’m awesome” epiphany, I had to work a bit more to get rid of my imposter syndrome.
Some tips to overcome imposter syndrome:
- Acknowledging these feelings and recognizing you’re not alone: Imposter syndrome is something many people experience daily in all aspects of their lives. It is rare for anyone to jump into something new feeling an immediate sense of belonging. However, we are all made to feel that is the case.
- Acknowledge your strengths: You were hired for a reason. As much as your new position is providing you an opportunity to grow your career, you are providing your organization with a skillset that they saw as a value to their team. They didn’t choose any other adult– they chose THIS adult! You ARE the right candidate for the job.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself: You can’t always do everything all at once, and that is okay! Figure out timelines of upcoming projects or goals and look at what steps you need to get there instead of dwelling on the feeling that you are already behind.
- Set realistic expectations for others: There are no percentages or A+ in the workplace; your work isn’t being graded. You may not get validated or praised for everything you do; however, it is important to be open to and receive feedback. Talk to your supervisor or colleagues about your work and see if there are any areas you can improve on (but who knows; you may get that A+ validation after all– it’s a win-win).
- Leave work at work: With the work-from-home lifestyle that many of us have grown accustomed to, logging off from work both physically and mentally can feel like a challenge– especially when your bedroom also serves as your office. Unless you are working on strict timelines or are offered overtime pay for your efforts, at the end of the working day, you must switch your accountability from your professional self to your personal self. Taking care of your personal life will also help with making sure you have enough mental capacity to function like an adult– and you don’t even have to give up your Dino Eggs to do it!
Although I still consider my adult life to be a work-in-progress, these gentle reminders have allowed me to feel like an actual adult sometimes, and not an imposter trying to convince everyone around me that I am all grown up.
We often hear about this so-called “hustle and grind” culture. People talk about “chasing this bread” or “it’s you versus you.” But life isn’t a competition. You do not have to feel like you need to be constantly competing with time or expectations or some other version of yourself. If anything, all the past versions of yourself have gotten you this far– so if anything, it is a team sport! For those of you who like the race analogy, shift your thinking to life being a marathon, not a sprint. You are going at the pace that is right for you at this moment and can still feel that same sense of pride at the finish line, no matter how fast you get there.
Written by: Katie Redmond, Alumni Contributor
